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Burberry McGarrett

Burberry McGarrett’s Epic Origin Story (A Villain Appears…)

The Burbery McGarrett series of stories is intentionally cracky badfic about my original male character, Burberry McGarrett, the identical twin of H50’s Steve McGarrett…

…and it is supposed to be funny. If you don’t find it funny, please don’t try to take it seriously…

April 2, 2012

Things you need to remember about Burberry McGarrett:

1) He’s Steve’s identical twin, separated from the McGarrett family in infancy and raised by an incredibly wealthy Australian crime family

2) He has all the same tattoos as Steve McG (what can I say, the twin bond is mysterious)

3) At the point when this story begins, he knows about the Five-0s but they don’t know about him

4) his full name is Shelburne McGarrett…

November 30, 2011

Every super villain needs a good origin story, right? Well, this is the tale of Burberry McGarrett, Steve McGarrett’s evil (and much cooler) twin brother.

Burberry McGarrett was born on H50sardonic when, discussing That 1 Episode of Criminal Minds, I posited that in order for #H50 to truly stretch Alex O’Loughlin’s acting abilities, he would have to play his own evil twin. Ess responded, attempting to remember the word “Shelburne” (the mysterious phrase of Hawaii Five-0’s second season) instead coming up with “Burberry.”  Sometimes the Hawaiian Pineapple Gods work in mysterious ways.

Thus Burberry McGarrett, International Man of Mystery, was born:

Burberry McGarrett was shipped off to Sydney after his birth (why we do not know!) and was raised by a wealthy crime family. Upon his return, he sashays all over Honolulu twirling his mustache (metaphorically) and being this fabulous bad ass and general embarrassment to McG. He’ll be a classy high end art thief International Man of Mystery-style who quotes shakespeare or French philosophy at crime scenes. Just to get on McG’s nerves. He’ll kidnap Danny just for laughs (though they will get along great). He’ll buy every pair of cargo pants in Hawaii and hide them, just to be mean. But thanks to him, we will achieve McG pantslessness. Eventually, he will elope with LoHo (this is the Y of LoHo) to a private island off the coast of Tasmania, never to be heard from again.

Or will he..?

Burberry McGarrett’s continuing adventures (and the filling of #H50 plot holes!) will continue on H50sardonic and cross-posted here.  Stay Tuned!

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About SJ2

I am good with: Details, Bad Ideas, Hilarity, Sarcasm and Overthinking! I kid because I care!

Discussion

12 thoughts on “Burberry McGarrett’s Epic Origin Story (A Villain Appears…)

  1. Oh, Burberry! I’m crushing on you. Don’t tell McG.

    Posted by heymomo | March 30, 2012, 4:40 pm
  2. This is genius Steph J. Wondered who he was.

    Posted by Mary Jane | April 3, 2012, 2:09 am
  3. He also wears dog tags & glasses….at some point. For some reason. But who really cares why?

    Oh I love this story. Good timez…good timez..

    Posted by Princess Buttercup (ESS) @H50BAMF | April 4, 2012, 9:01 pm
  4. Haven’t seen the Criminal Minds ep or had any clue what Burberry McGarrett was… oh how I love to stumble upon these FUCUP nuggets here and there.

    Posted by spurschick | April 6, 2012, 8:09 am

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Pingback: Five Times The Five-0s Didn’t Know They were Dealing with Burberry McGarrett (and One Time they Did) Part 1 « Junk Kicker's #H50 Junk Drawer - April 2, 2012

  2. Pingback: Five Times The Five-0s Didn’t Know They were Dealing with Burberry McGarrett (and One Time they Did) Part 2 « Junk Kicker's #H50 Junk Drawer - April 3, 2012

  3. Pingback: Five Times The Five-0s Didn’t Know They were Dealing with Burberry McGarrett (and One Time they Did) Part 3 « Junk Kicker's #H50 Junk Drawer - April 4, 2012

  4. Pingback: Five Times The Five-0s Didn’t Know They were Dealing with Burberry McGarrett (and One Time they Did) Part 4 « Junk Kicker's #H50 Junk Drawer - April 5, 2012

  5. Pingback: Five Times The Five-0s Didn’t Know They were Dealing with Burberry McGarrett (and One Time they Did) Part 5 « Junk Kicker's #H50 Junk Drawer - April 6, 2012

  6. Pingback: The One Time they Did (And Now the Conclusion…) « Junk Kicker's #H50 Junk Drawer - April 9, 2012

  7. Pingback: Burberry McGarrett & the Unauthorized Biography (For the Fans) « Junk Kicker's #H50 Junk Drawer - October 23, 2012

  8. Pingback: Burberry McGarrett is Up To No Good (Happy Birthday Momo) « Junk Kicker's #H50 Junk Drawer - January 17, 2013

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