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The Lanakila Review: A Spoonful of Sugar (Makes the Medicine Go Down)

Lanakila is a weird episode, yo. Lanakila means “Victory” and in this episode, there are a couple little victories, sure… Dana (the victim) wins a game show, McG wins at basketball, Kamekona wins back his girlfriend… The Five-0s win in the end (though they always do) but even so I’m not sure why the episode … Continue reading

Wits sharp, Heart open, Gun loaded (The NCIS:LA Primer)

So, full disclosure: I began watching Hawaii Five-0 in 2010 because the Hawaiian Pineapple Gods sang across the ocean directly into my soul and I was compelled to watch — right? You know how it is. I did not watch the first (2009-2010) or second (2010-2011) seasons of NCIS:LA when they originally aired (because I … Continue reading

Malama Ka ‘Aina Review: The Name of the Game (Who’s Your Daddy?)

Episode 2 (called “Ohana”) ends with McG promising Kono, Danny and Chin that they are now a family and Episode 3 begins with a family outing! I don’t begrudge 1.2 the “Ohana” name because that episode showed us the start of the family. But, of course, it could be a perfectly good title for this … Continue reading

Because it Doesn’t Make Sense Otherwise (Rewritten Before Airing)

So a little bit of good news today, huh? This is totally Burberry McGarrett & Wo Fat on the run together. Right??? RIGHT. WHO AM I KIDDING praise the Hawaiian Pineapple Gods it’s Steeeeeeeeeeeeeve! Party post!!! Insert your sqeeeeeeee here!!

The One Time they Did (And Now the Conclusion…)

Steve McGarrett stared in disbelief at the records Chin Ho had pulled up from the Interpol Database and spread across the many monitors of the Five-0 bullpen. He opened his mouth, closed it, rubbed his face. Turning towards Danny, he spread his arms wide. “A twin brother? Really?”

“Apparently so,” Danny said slowly. Continue reading

Five Times The Five-0s Didn’t Know They were Dealing with Burberry McGarrett (and One Time they Did) Part 5

“What the hell is the matter with you?” Danny Williams’ voice rang out, sing-song fashion, across the bookstore, attracting disapproving attention from the other shoppers — which he didn’t seem to notice. Continue reading

Five Times The Five-0s Didn’t Know They were Dealing with Burberry McGarrett (and One Time they Did) Part 4

The fragrant breezes of the warm Hawaiian night drifted past the outdoor patio of Hilton Hawaiian Village. Danny’s friends were sitting at a beach-side table as he played with Grace and Gabby out on the beach. At one end of the table, Chin Ho, Max and Kamekona reminisced about their childhoods on the islands, while at the other end, Kono and Steve watched Danny in silence. Continue reading

Five Times The Five-0s Didn’t Know They were Dealing with Burberry McGarrett (and One Time they Did) Part 3

“Some days, I hate my job,” Burberry thought angrily. He wasn’t sure what the point was, being undercover in a tailor’s shop in mid-town Honolulu. This was certainly not the place he’d ever get a suit made — but then again, not everyone had his fabulous couture taste and unlimited resources. But he had to trust his source that this would be the place to gain the valuable intel he’d spent the better part of the last month looking for. Continue reading

Five Times The Five-0s Didn’t Know They were Dealing with Burberry McGarrett (and One Time they Did) Part 2

As Max fussed over the autopsy report of Five-0’s latest John Doe victim, he considered the possibilities. The victim had obviously had extensive surgical work — but unlike the typical victim of murder in a high-end Waikiki neighborhood, this surgery was all internal — not cosmetic. Finding the surgical markers he was looking for, he tutted to himself, casting a sidelong glance at his upright piano… Continue reading

Five Times The Five-0s Didn’t Know They were Dealing with Burberry McGarrett (and One Time they Did) Part 1

Burberry McGarrett sighed dramatically as he readjusted himself for what felt like the twentieth time that hour. He was starting to lose feeling in his arse. The lounge chair he’d set up on the exclusive North Shore beach (to which he’d surreptitiously gained access earlier in the day) was comfortable enough – but he had two problems. Continue reading

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