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What Is That Shape? (A Picture Book Birthday Card for Ess)

Happy Birthday to my Ess! I wrote you a children’s picture book! I hope you like it and that everyone gets a little laugh out of this ridiculousness & dare I say it… perhaps see the world a little differently afterwards..? So — Without further ado — may I present…

I want to thank all my friends who asked “what are you doing for Ess’ birthday?” Specifically Momo who said, “why don’t you draw something?” Tink who said, “Make it about the Mohawk!” and Mr. JK who graciously assisted with brainstorming and stick art appreciation. Where would I be without you all, my amazing support system? And Happy Birthday, Ess! I hope this year is great for you in every respect!


About SJ2

I am good with: Details, Bad Ideas, Hilarity, Sarcasm and Overthinking! I kid because I care!


47 thoughts on “What Is That Shape? (A Picture Book Birthday Card for Ess)

  1. Is it totally weird that I immidiately only thought of the Mohawk when I saw the first drawing…..
    (Thanks you Ess, for loving the Mohawk and the playful side of Alex!!)

    Posted by FOYeur | May 16, 2012, 1:17 am
  2. Steph! Brilliant! She loves that mohawk like I love being emo. πŸ™‚ Great job.

    Posted by Infant_Sardonic | May 16, 2012, 2:05 am
  3. I was thinking FOY FOY FOY not a FOY πŸ™‚ sorry for my one-track mind!
    Really good work Steph, IΒ΄m jellis of your talents! Btw I loved the hawk look too…

    Posted by paula | May 16, 2012, 4:31 am
  4. Awwwwwwww…..tis excellant! Awesome job! You should work for Hallmark!!!

    Posted by LaHagela (The Tinkler) | May 16, 2012, 5:14 am
  5. I love this! Steph, you have been a BUSY girl πŸ˜‰

    Posted by westy | May 16, 2012, 5:22 am
  6. Steppph!! I nearly fkn broke a LUNG laughing so hard!!
    I love ya’ll like a fat kid loves chocolate cake!!
    Like McG loves his Danno!
    Like Scott loves his P-Dour!!
    Like Kono loves shooting baddies!!
    Like Chin loves his manscaping!!

    As much as i loved that freeeking silly mohawk! ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀

    Posted by ESS @H50BAMF | May 16, 2012, 6:55 am
  7. I totally didn’t get it!! And then I saw what it was and I nearly cried laughing.

    You are a GEEENEEEUS.

    Posted by Alicia | May 16, 2012, 7:53 am
  8. Like Alicia, I was all “?huh?” until the reveal. And then I laughed my ass off.

    OMG – you are brill. So friggin brill I can’t even express it.

    Posted by KimmerNY | May 16, 2012, 8:54 am
  9. When I saw the new post in my email: “What Is That Shape?”, just like Paula, thought FOY FOY FOY. I was a little puzzlered about what profile, angle, or perspective this FOY silhouette was from, but I had lots of naughty ideas.

    As I read more, I mentally slapped myself for being such a perverted perv. Love the surprise ending, Steph! Aside: Has anyone seen any new pictures without the mohawk?

    Sorry if my dirty mind initially misinterpreted your perfectly delightful picture book. I should be hosed down by The FOY. Now that sounds extra dirty. I can’t escape the double-entendres! Help! LOL!

    Of course, I cannot forget to say: HAPPY BIRTHDAY ESS!!!!

    Posted by Andr3a (Hawaii 5-0 FUCUP Blogazine) | May 16, 2012, 9:38 am
    • Sadly, the most recent pics of AOL show the mohawk is no more, likely in its many thousand individual parts on his hairdresser’s floor, or heck, the trashcan in his own bathroom, it’s just a buzz cut he has now he could have done it himself.

      Actually, after my husband saw the pics of the mohawk he explained to me how he pretty much could have given himelf the same haircut recently, because he was trimming up his sideburns and the trimmer just kept going..! any farther up the side of his head & a mohawk or buzz cut would have been his only options. So the mohawk may have been the result of a shaving accident, which, is really kind of funny to me (and may also explain why it was only on his head for a week or so).

      To recap- the mohawk is gone, in a landfill by now, becoming one with the earth, circle of life babe, etc. However, in our hearts & on this blog – it lives on. πŸ˜‰

      Posted by stephaniejane2 (The Junk Kicker) | May 16, 2012, 10:28 am
      • Black Hawk Down!! (oh, I couldn’t resist!)

        Posted by Alicia | May 18, 2012, 6:13 am
      • Oh, and this reminds me – I gave my brother a similar, but not nearly so neat, haircut not so long ago. He asked me to give him a buzz cut but neglected to mention he’d bought the clippers in the States (he lives there. Electrical systems: highly incompatible). I got halfway through when all of a sudden we both Mooney-sniffed and said ‘is something burning?’, then the clippers went BANG!!! and he walked around looking like a total dork for the whole of the rest of the day.


        Posted by Alicia | May 18, 2012, 6:35 am
  10. This is delightful! I, like Paula and Andr3a, immediately thought of another “head” but loved what yours actually turned out to be. Clever, clever girl. Thanks for the fun!
    And happy, happy birthday to ESS!

    Posted by Karin@notMcNerd | May 16, 2012, 11:10 am
  11. I thought it might be looking down at the top of his head but the ears were in the wrong place! Great, StephJ, love the side smirk.

    Posted by Mary Jane | May 16, 2012, 11:53 am
  12. Thank you all for the birthday wishes!! Seriously, I almost died first thing this morning when I read this!! It’s a good thing I didn’t because she was just the warm up apparently! You’re too good to me. πŸ™‚

    And you are all too f/cking talented!!! SBJ&TO!!

    PS.. I knew from Steph, it would not be the FOY so I was truly at a loss for what it was going to be. Damn clever girl!!

    Posted by ESS @H50BAMF | May 16, 2012, 1:24 pm
  13. I thought it was gonna be the FOY! Amazing πŸ™‚

    Posted by rainycali | May 16, 2012, 2:29 pm

    So much love for this!! SO MUCH LOVE I CAN’T HELP BUT SHOUT ABOUT IT!
    I read this on my phone on the way to the subway this morning, silly lack of wifi underground, so I had to wait ALL DAY to comment!

    I totes fell for your story. I had no idea what it would be… and then laughed like a silly fool into the subway, I’m sure the other riders thought I was a crazy person.

    So. Much. Love. For. You, you creative-as-hell-stick-figure-drawing genius!
    *air hearts*

    Posted by heymomo | May 16, 2012, 3:59 pm
  15. That was absolutely fantastic! So creative…I adored it! What a great AOL “gift” for ESS. πŸ™‚ Wonderful!!

    p.s. I tried to quiet my frequently perverted mind. lol

    Posted by Karma Heckard | May 16, 2012, 5:32 pm
  16. Oh yes, and am now a happy follower of your blog! πŸ™‚

    Posted by Karma Heckard | May 16, 2012, 5:53 pm
  17. I am not a fan of the hiatus mohawk (may it rest in peace) but I am a fan of this picture book birthday card. As I was reading I kept trying to figure out what it was but I had no idea what it was until the very end. You are so talented!

    Happy Birthday ESS!

    Posted by JDD | May 16, 2012, 6:36 pm
  18. OMG! this totally made me crack up!! i do miss the mohawk! thanks for the giggle!

    Posted by Audra Delyea | May 16, 2012, 8:23 pm

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