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Moonlight

LOS ANGELES WOMAN HIRES VAMPIRE CONTRACT KILLER (Click)

Los Angeles, California

The shocking murder of Buzzwire Editor Maureen Williams has had unexpected consequences for both newly re-turned vampire Mick St. John and investigative journalist Beth Turner. In a report brought to you only by The Junk Drawer, we have learned that St. John – having experienced a tragically short week of humanity – will take more risks in both his professional and personal life, according to an inside source.

WHY SO JUDGY? Face to face with unrepentant gossip mongers and stalkerazzi, Beth & Mick react with shock & disgust.


BREAKING NEWS: Amy Winehouse Returns From The Dead,
Hits Vegas and Snorts Vodka Shots with Naked Prince Harry!!

 

The Junk Drawer was provided exclusive access to the studio party on board the Lusitania and can bring you these behind the scenes photos of the incredible party action! The Question on **Everyone’s** Mind: Are St. John and Turner dating? Sources can not confirm… seems to be a lot of TALK and no ACTION!

Our cameras are there to capture what happens!

When hot Hollywood up & comer Tierney Taylor is murdered on Mick’s watch, he launches an all-out investigation to find her killer!

County Morgue employee Guillermo Gasol refused to comment for this article. DRAW YOUR OWN CONCLUSIONS!

When Mick and Beth can not agree on which of them had been the target of a hit-and-run murderer earlier that evening, they find themselves at Mick’s apartment, surrounded by a horde of paparazzi. The only solution: A SEXY SLEEPOVER!

THEIR HOT NIGHTS TOGETHER

What goes on behind closed doors? We doubt an intense couple like St. John & Turner sat around discussing their day jobs or today’s popular music… we’re betting they made some sweet, sweet music of their own – All Night Long!

THE GAME’S AFOOT: St. John & Turner on the killer’s trail!

Working together hot couple Mick and Beth TRACK DOWN the VICIOUS MURDERER and hand him over to the DA’s office!

THIS JUST IN: ST JOHN GRABS PRODUCER ABBOTT FOR TAYLOR SLAYING!

Now that the business of crime-solving is done, Mick and Beth can focus on getting down to business — if you know what we mean!

HEARTS IN THEIR EYES!

ST JOHN AND TURNER CONTINUE THEIR NO-PDA POLICY!
BUT IT CAN’T LAST FOREVER!
THE JUNK DRAWER WILL BE THERE FOR THEIR MOST INTIMATE MOMENTS!
THAT IS OUR PROMISE TO YOU, DEAR READER!

~NEWSFLASH~NEWSFLASH~NEWSFLASH~

It has just been brought to our attention that Beth Turner has invited secretive billionaire and notorious womanizer Josef Kostan to her apartment for a MYSTERIOUS RENDEZVOUS. What goes on behind closed doors? Few know, but here at The Junk Drawer, our exclusive access allows us to reveal the shocking secrets Turner and Kostan wish to hide…

LOS ANGELES WOMAN HIRES VAMPIRE CONTRACT KILLER

Mick and Beth meet for dinner at the swanky Arbor Bistro – famous for it’s homegrown vegetable dishes. Ooh la la this is how the other half lives! Additionally, Turner has admitted she has resigned from Buzzwire — under mysterious circumstances to be sure!!

FABULOUS FLIRTATION: Mick & Beth turn on the charm, acting like they’ve known each other all their lives,
though The Junk Drawer can confirm they met a mere six months ago.

The mysterious disappearance of paparazzo Dean Foster allows Mick and Beth to continue their date in peace! But an exclusive informant from inside the D.A.’s office has revealed that Ben Talbot is hiding a mysterious file… which we vow to uncover for our readers!

WHAT THE D.A. KNEW: We go INSIDE his secret files!

EXCLUSIVE QUOTES: THE JUNK DRAWER HAS ON RECORD… OUR FAVORITE QUOTES FROM THE STARS!

1. Mick (in the car with Tierney): Can’t die, you can’t die, can’t die…

2. Beth: You’ve known me since I was four…
Mick: OK, it’s weird when you say it like that!

MICK, WE AGREE!

3. Mick: You’ve seen my Facebook page?
Josef: Of course I’ve seen your Facebook page.
Mick: Hmm. Did you like it?

4. Mick: You went out with Jean Harlow?
Josef: I mostly stayed in with Jean Harlow.

Questionably, this conversation is later repeated by Beth & Josef – only invoking Greta Garbo instead of Jean Harlow. Is Josef telling the truth about his liaisons with the famous leading ladies of Old Hollywood? WE REPORT AND YOU DECIDE.

AND FINALLY! THE QUESTION ON EVERYONE’S MIND…

5. Mick: The boyfriend’s only crime is being in an emo band.
Beth: What’s wrong with emo?
Mick: Nothing, when they were influenced by Hรผsker Dรผ. But now they all just copy Jimmy Eat World, and, well, that explains Dashboard Confessional, doesn’t it?
Beth: I like Dashboard Confessional.
Mick: No you don’t.

๐Ÿ˜€

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About SJ2

I am good with: Details, Bad Ideas, Hilarity, Sarcasm and Overthinking! I kid because I care!

Discussion

53 thoughts on “LOS ANGELES WOMAN HIRES VAMPIRE CONTRACT KILLER (Click)

  1. LMAO! OMG this is the best recap ever! I have comments on this ep, but all I can do right now is giggle!

    Posted by heymomo | August 27, 2012, 4:50 am
  2. Ok, I’ve composed myself. Sort of. Kudos to you Steph, I love this recap SO MUCH!
    It is absolutely perfect for this ep – one that isn’t my most favourite, but you may have just bumped it up a notch thanks to this post!!

    Okay. Click.
    Random observations:
    -ADA Talbot having lunch with Beth is creepy. Is he hitting on her? Yeah sure, they went through a kidnapping together. Whaevs.
    -Mick and Beth with the restaurant eyesexing!
    -“you’ve known me since I was 4” “ok it’s weird when you say it like that” love the smirk, Mick ๐Ÿ™‚
    -MICK HAS A FACEBOOK PAGE?
    -Dad/ step-sire FTW!!
    -It’s complicated. tee hee.
    -more eyesexing on the deck of the Lusitania!
    -super sniffing in the stateroom
    -Dean Foster is an ass. They cast the actor so well.
    -“share some information” Oh Mick, is that what they’re calling it these days?
    -Lost Boys FTW!
    -Tierney has an emo boyfriend. Oh, Graaaace!! ๐Ÿ˜‰
    -The emo band conversation kills me every time. In an extremely embarassing way.
    -“besides I sleep in my freezer upstairs” Oh Mick, your FAAAACE!
    -“you are going to get so tired of watching me eat” When Mick says “I hope so” I melt. Puddle of goo. Huge mess.
    -the crime of the week storyline in this episode feels like filler knowing that there are only two eps left. BUT, there are hugely important plot developments: Beth realizing just how far she’ll go to protect Mick, Beth’s developing relationship with Mick, Beth’s developing friendship with Josef, Beth quitting Buzzwire. AND, whatever would have happened with ADA Talbot and the file on Mick. I guess it’s time again to say: FUCBS.
    -words in this episode that Alex says funny: album, Scotland
    -Also, Blue October Into The Ocean FTW!

    Did I mention how much I LOVE THIS RECAP?!?

    Posted by heymomo | August 27, 2012, 5:58 am
  3. Sooo much eyes/xing is this episode!!! Sooo many asdkjg;poijasdfagj faces. I’m hopping into your puddle of goo.

    Posted by spurschick | August 27, 2012, 7:24 am
  4. You have outdone yourself, SJ! So much work that went into this. I have to say that my first thought at the NOT IMPRESSED

    Posted by spurschick | August 27, 2012, 7:25 am
  5. Damn you, WordPress! OK… as I was saying…

    My first thought at the NOT IMPRESSED cap was McKayla Maroney. True story.

    And with that… my random thoughts for the next to the next to the last episode. =(

    – Do celebs really have to outrun the paparazzi like that? And shouldn’t the cops have shown up by now?

    – Oh, Josh 2.0. I just don’t know what to make of you.

    – I like Beth’s extensions more than her actual hair. Is that bad?

    – Did Mick just sneer a bit at Josh 2.0?! Love it!

    – My love for Josef knows no bounds.

    – Wow, there’s some bad fashion on that boat.

    – Holy crap! Sniffapalooza in Tierney’s state room!

    – I would have loved to have seen a big vampire meeting.

    – Did we ever find out who actually hit Mick with the car? Seemed way to quick for the photog to hit him, jump out into the shadows and start taking picks.

    – The EMO convo. Epic.

    – So… where is the bed?! He bought it and then Goodwilled it?!

    – Show of hands – who would have snuck a peek in the freezer? MEEEEEEEEE!

    – Can you imagine the friendship that would have blossomed between Beth and Josef? FUCBS.

    – Beth is such a tease with the blood drop necklace. I know I’ve mentioned that before, but it just makes me giggle.

    – What was Mick drinking at the restaurant?! We know that’s not blood. It’s the same wine that Beth is drinking. So, we can conclude that vamps can drink alcohol?

    – I really, really, really, really hope that Alex’s next show is on HBO.

    Not one of my fave eps, hence why there are so few thoughts. But you made it super fun with the recap, SJ!

    Sniff count: 6 – and they all seemed to happen at once!
    Bionic hearing: 1 – and into the water she goes

    Line of the ep: “This one’s new.”

    Posted by spurschick | August 27, 2012, 7:35 am
  6. – Show of hands โ€“ who would have snuck a peek in the freezer?
    Both my arms are waiving in the air right now. I would have crawled in there with him.

    – I really, really, really, really hope that Alexโ€™s next show is on HBO.

    ^^YES YES YES^^

    I think it was the producer/director guy from the studio who ran over Mick with the car. And speaking of that scene, could the Papp really have known that injury was serious/fatal, just by snapping pictures? People get run over by cars all the time on tv and don’t die (it happened to McG in that epi where Lori gets fired). And why would the ADA care?

    Posted by AnnieOakley | August 27, 2012, 10:16 am
  7. OMG. This. Was. BRILLIANT. Kudos to you, babe…kudos! #wavingpompoms

    Click is my least favorite ML episode, but we sure got some beautiful Mick out of it. The ONLY thing that saved this one from being a total train wreck in my opinion is that scene with Beth and Josef. In her own way, Beth is even more ruthless than the vampires – she wants Mick safe, and she goes to the one person that can guarantee it’ll happen.

    I just love her drinking wine with Mick while the Lost Boys eat the photographer. Beth’s my kinda gal. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Seriously. Sophia must have run over the wardrobe guy’s poodle, because that’s the ONLY way I can explain that hideously fugly sweater she was wearing on the Queen Mary…or the rest of her wardrobe, for that matter.

    I love Ben. That is all.

    That whole scene in Mick’s apartment. Bucketful of awkward – the least he could have done was given her a blanket. I find it interesting now that Mick and Beth are “dating”, they rarely touch each other. Must be how vampires date humans. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Oh Josef. How I love thee and thy dalliances with the Hollywood glamour gals!

    An episode i could have done without…but one I’m glad we got.

    Posted by PNWgal (@PNWgal) | August 27, 2012, 11:00 am
    • -I find it interesting now that Mick and Beth are โ€œdatingโ€, they rarely touch each other. Must be how vampires date humans.

      I know!! Seriously! Haven’t they been through enough to be able to leapfrog some of the typical dating stuff into AT LEAST a good makeout session?! Are they going by the 3-date rule? LAAAAAAAAME. I want to be courted as much as the next gal, but there are certain times that we can at least jump to some 1st and even 2nd base action.

      Who thinks that Mick woke up once or twice to watch Beth sleep? *collective “awwwwwww”* I mean, it is nighttime for him, right?

      Posted by spurschick | August 27, 2012, 11:09 am
    • An episode i could have done withoutโ€ฆbut one Iโ€™m glad we got.
      Well said!

      Posted by FOYeur | August 27, 2012, 12:01 pm
    • Why do you love Ben?! I must know.

      Posted by SJ2 (Junk Kicker) | August 27, 2012, 8:39 pm
  8. Two more screencap based comments:
    1. THEIR HOT NIGHTS TOGETHER <- this is the FAAAACE I was talking about!! LOL!
    2. the last pics <- um, Beth, your shirt is unbuttoned again…

    Posted by heymomo | August 27, 2012, 6:33 pm
  9. Steph this is my fav recap by far. Nice choice with the tabloid look. You’re spot on with how ridiculous the stories can be in these magazines. I found a mag from about a year ago and on the front of it it has Kim Kardashian going “I was pregnant when I got married!” All from a “close friend of the star”. The whole magazine was so entertaining. I think the only thing had any truth to it were the ads….oh wait on, those are lies too. But I digress. Fav recap thus far. May even result in me liking the ep a bit more. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    1. Oh episode 14. All you did was follow episode 13. Tough gig. You and H50 ep 2.11 should become best of friends.

    2. Hey Mick I need a bodyguard. I then recommend we watch the movie of the same name and see what hapens.

    3. Poor Josef (do you know I started adding i’s to his name, lol I started writing it how Mick says it. :P), they’re still fixing his office.

    4. “Dad.” “Step – sire.” LOL Mick teasing Josef about turning him. So mean.

    5. Who is Jean Harlow? (yes I understand the concept of Google but I like to mention when I have no idea what’s going on).

    6. Ewwww what is that cardigan Beth is wearing? She totes ran over wardrobes dog.

    7. Mick is socially retarted and he is totes the King of Emo’s.

    8. I love Protective Mick!

    9. “I told thim that she could trust me. That I’d look out for her. Now she’s dead.” More guilt for Mick.

    10. Stop dissing Emo’s Mick, because you are one.

    11. Who is Jimmy Eat World?

    12. Who is Dashboard Confessional?

    13. It was a nice role reversal to have Beth protect Mick.

    Posted by Infant_Sardonic | August 27, 2012, 7:01 pm
  10. Hilarious! Just having my lunch whilst reading it and I nearly choked on my cup-of-soup. I know it’s been said that it was ‘an episode we didn’t need to have but glad we did’ kind of thing but I still liked it for its lighter shade. All of the looks between Beth and Mick get me every time.

    And I love that Mick has a FB page. We could create our own version and have Josef poke Mick and write sarcastic comments on his wall. He he.

    Infant, you really are Infant or am I just old? (no, don’t answer that!). Jean Harlow was the first blonde bombshell and a bit naughty (died young) so probably a good choice for the writers to have Josef linked to. Love all the references to Josef’s past and the fact that he’s seen so much. Good History lesson for us all (sorry, just admitted that I am a History nerd; even have a degree in it :D)

    Yeah, plot holes everywhere but the Mick/Beth and Beth/Josef stuff is sooooo worth it. And, drum roll please, my first ever posting where I say FU CBS. There I said it. This ep so gives us a sneak peek of what would have come if the series had survived.

    And totes on board with the whole peeking in the freezer thing.

    Yeah, SJ, awesome recap and hilarious comments!!!!!

    Posted by Andrea_Briz | August 27, 2012, 7:36 pm
  11. I actually really liked this episode. It’s definitely out of place between 13 and 15 which are 2 of the most awesome episodes! But it was the nice break needed at the time, I think. Like Andrea I liked the lighter side for a chance. Mick out and about. Awkwardly trying to figure out how the hell to date a human woman again. lol. Nothing but love, Mick!!

    THIS will never not give me the biggest laugh ever

    I would definitely be peeking in the freezer. Beth is a reporter. She has an inquisitive mind. The writers dropped the ball here, for sure.

    I LOVE that the papp got his due rewards in the end. I LOVE that Beth was the mastermind behind it and I LOVE that she and Josef worked it out together. For all that Mick’s done for Beth, she repaid him the best and really the only way she could.

    Posted by ESS @H50BAMF | August 27, 2012, 9:03 pm
    • ACA with you Ess (see, I’m learning!). Wouldn’t it have been nice to have seen the relationship between Mick and Beth develop further. More awkward moments as Mick tried to figure how to be in a relationship (with a human) again. And more of the developing friendship between Beth and Josef would have been awesome, too. And the other vampires.

      FUCBS. There, I said it again ๐Ÿ™‚

      Posted by Andrea_Briz | August 27, 2012, 9:12 pm
  12. Love the way you’ve done this Steph. This was the last episode I watched so I’ll try to keep up with the recaps now.

    Posted by Mary Jane | August 29, 2012, 12:27 am
  13. I don’t have time to comment properly due to imminent arrival of NotShelburne & NotPoppaMcG, but:

    1. I really like this episode, it’s good fun & pretty much all of what Momo said.

    2. But not as much fun as your recap because it made me laugh like a LOON. (A Fancy Boat! <—- this especially. I don't know why).

    3. If I had to pick one note from all the notes I didn't make, it would be that when Tierney drives between the two cars right at the beginning, Mick says "Oh God!" in really quite an excitable way and I rewound it four times to listen to it again (and that's just what I'm admitting to).

    4. I love Josef. (although this should be a given by now)

    5. But not as much as I love your recap. All.The.Love!!!

    6. F U CBS.

    Posted by Alicia | August 30, 2012, 8:43 am
  14. I’m late to the party after being on vacation but just had to say 4 things:

    1. Steph, I LOVE LOVE LOVE the tabloid style that you chose to write this recap. Brilliant!
    2. Watching 80-something vampire Mick date human Beth is like watching a teenage boy on his first date. He’s adork-able.
    3. I’ve always loved Josef. But Beth going to him to take care of the paparazzi knowing Josef would have him killed was awesome. I would’ve liked to have seen more of the Josef/Beth dynamic.
    4. F U CBS

    Posted by JDD | September 1, 2012, 6:15 pm
  15. Steph, just want to echo what everybody else has been saying….but not just about this episode. You have really made this Moonlight re-watched special in every possible way. So much work and thought went into every episode. Can’t believe there is only two episodes left now…….
    Hope your creative mind is already working on what to do next!! and I can’t wait for it…..

    Posted by FOYeur | September 2, 2012, 3:22 am
    • Thanks FOYeur! It’s an emotional journey to do the rewatch… I get the feeling it’ll be like this every time. You all with your observations & discussion have made this an amazing summer! Sad to wrap it up of course but it’s the perfect summer hiatus show for a reason… ๐Ÿ˜ฅ #FUCBS

      Posted by SJ2 (Junk Kicker) | September 2, 2012, 6:57 pm

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

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