Los Angeles, California
The shocking murder of Buzzwire Editor Maureen Williams has had unexpected consequences for both newly re-turned vampire Mick St. John and investigative journalist Beth Turner. In a report brought to you only by The Junk Drawer, we have learned that St. John – having experienced a tragically short week of humanity – will take more risks in both his professional and personal life, according to an inside source.
BREAKING NEWS: Amy Winehouse Returns From The Dead,
Hits Vegas and Snorts Vodka Shots with Naked Prince Harry!!
The Junk Drawer was provided exclusive access to the studio party on board the Lusitania and can bring you these behind the scenes photos of the incredible party action! The Question on **Everyone’s** Mind: Are St. John and Turner dating? Sources can not confirm… seems to be a lot of TALK and no ACTION!
Our cameras are there to capture what happens!
When hot Hollywood up & comer Tierney Taylor is murdered on Mick’s watch, he launches an all-out investigation to find her killer!
When Mick and Beth can not agree on which of them had been the target of a hit-and-run murderer earlier that evening, they find themselves at Mick’s apartment, surrounded by a horde of paparazzi. The only solution: A SEXY SLEEPOVER!
What goes on behind closed doors? We doubt an intense couple like St. John & Turner sat around discussing their day jobs or today’s popular music… we’re betting they made some sweet, sweet music of their own – All Night Long!
Working together hot couple Mick and Beth TRACK DOWN the VICIOUS MURDERER and hand him over to the DA’s office!
Now that the business of crime-solving is done, Mick and Beth can focus on getting down to business — if you know what we mean!
ST JOHN AND TURNER CONTINUE THEIR NO-PDA POLICY!
BUT IT CAN’T LAST FOREVER!
THE JUNK DRAWER WILL BE THERE FOR THEIR MOST INTIMATE MOMENTS!
THAT IS OUR PROMISE TO YOU, DEAR READER!
It has just been brought to our attention that Beth Turner has invited secretive billionaire and notorious womanizer Josef Kostan to her apartment for a MYSTERIOUS RENDEZVOUS. What goes on behind closed doors? Few know, but here at The Junk Drawer, our exclusive access allows us to reveal the shocking secrets Turner and Kostan wish to hide…
Mick and Beth meet for dinner at the swanky Arbor Bistro – famous for it’s homegrown vegetable dishes. Ooh la la this is how the other half lives! Additionally, Turner has admitted she has resigned from Buzzwire — under mysterious circumstances to be sure!!
The mysterious disappearance of paparazzo Dean Foster allows Mick and Beth to continue their date in peace! But an exclusive informant from inside the D.A.’s office has revealed that Ben Talbot is hiding a mysterious file… which we vow to uncover for our readers!
EXCLUSIVE QUOTES: THE JUNK DRAWER HAS ON RECORD… OUR FAVORITE QUOTES FROM THE STARS!
1. Mick (in the car with Tierney): Can’t die, you can’t die, can’t die…
2. Beth: You’ve known me since I was four…
Mick: OK, it’s weird when you say it like that!
MICK, WE AGREE!
3. Mick: You’ve seen my Facebook page?
Josef: Of course I’ve seen your Facebook page.
Mick: Hmm. Did you like it?
4. Mick: You went out with Jean Harlow?
Josef: I mostly stayed in with Jean Harlow.
Questionably, this conversation is later repeated by Beth & Josef – only invoking Greta Garbo instead of Jean Harlow. Is Josef telling the truth about his liaisons with the famous leading ladies of Old Hollywood? WE REPORT AND YOU DECIDE.
AND FINALLY! THE QUESTION ON EVERYONE’S MIND…
5. Mick: The boyfriend’s only crime is being in an emo band.
Beth: What’s wrong with emo?
Mick: Nothing, when they were influenced by Hüsker Dü. But now they all just copy Jimmy Eat World, and, well, that explains Dashboard Confessional, doesn’t it?
Beth: I like Dashboard Confessional.
Mick: No you don’t.